Pride and Shadows
by TheGrandJester
Summary: Yami betrays Yugi during the duel with Seto Kaiba and does something unforgivable. Yugi struggles to accept what happened and forgive Yami, but can trust really be fixed once it's broken? Puzzleshipping if you squint. One-shot.


_ Darkness_

Yugi could feel it pressing up against him from all sides, crushing him, suffocating him. It became harder to keep his thoughts straight; the chaos around him seemed to push into his mind, leaving him defenseless and shaking.

_What's going on? Where am I? What happened? _

He tried to focus on one question and remember what happened, but it was getting increasingly difficult to stay focused. Subconsciously, he tried to grab onto the Millennium Puzzle that was always hanging around his neck, but he found that he couldn't move his arms. Or rather, he no longer had arms. Or legs. Or a body. Yugi was just a presence floating in the black void of silence, and could do nothing but reach out with his mind to find answers.

It was frightening, the utter blackness around him was silent, smothering, yet it screamed into his mind, scrambling his thoughts an infecting it with its chaos.

_Don't panic. Think. Remember!_

Was it always like this? Was he always just a presence? He couldn't seem to focus on anything but the nothing that was blotting out all of his thoughts. Yugi was losing his sense of self, and tried to struggle, but physically, he could do nothing. The endlessness of the void around him rendered him unable to think, only to feel.

Yugi was terrified.

In a way, that in itself was a good sign. He was still coherent enough to feel emotions, but that was starting to slip away too. Like water through fingers, his sanity was slipping away until he could feel nothing but the fear that was threatening to take over his mind completely.

Desperate, Yugi's presence reached out into the void, trying to find something, anything, that wasn't the inky black chaos. It seemed to stretch out endlessly, and Yugi almost gave himself over the chaos before he felt something.

It wasn't physical, he didn't think that anything physical could exist in this realm, or wherever he was. It was another presence, just on the outside of his consciousness, and almost undetectable through the void; but Yugi latched onto it like a lifeline. He poured his entire being into staying focused on that feeling, that presence.

For some reason, the other presence wouldn't let Yugi get close. It was as if there was an invisible force keeping Yugi inside the blackness. He pushed and strained with his mind, trying to breach the force-field and escape, but it was solid. Yugi could feel more of himself slipping away and tried to force his way out of his prison with more strength. The shield wouldn't move and Yugi's strength was waning.

Just as he was about to lose himself to the void, the other presence shifted, and the force-field weakened just a bit, but it was enough. Yugi threw himself out of the void and felt his knees hit the ground before everything came rushing back at once.

Anzu, Joey, Honda, the Millennium Puzzle, Duel Monsters, Pegasus, Grandpa, the kidnapping, Mai, Seto Kaiba, the duel at the castle… The Duel!

"STOP!"

He screamed before he even realized it. Yugi had long since grown used to the spirit that resided in his soul. It was frightening at first, but the spirit had been kind, and helped Yugi whenever he needed it. They called the spirit Yami, after the game carved in hieroglyphics on the outside of the Millennium Puzzle's box. It was only now that Yugi could see how truly fitting that name was for the spirit.

Yami had borrowed Yugi's body in the past, before Yugi had even realized what was happening. But even then, it had only felt like he was falling asleep, and when Yami turned control over to him again, he merely had no recollection of the events outside the puzzle. They discovered that Yugi was getting better at letting Yami take control. When it was willing, Yugi found that he could watch what was happening outside of his body, and he was working on projecting his spirit outside of the puzzle like Yami did. He trusted Yami completely, and loved to watch his friend interact with the outside world.

He was so _stupid_.

Yami was seconds away from killing Kaiba when he intervened. The worst part was, it was over his pride as a gamer. If Yami was willing to go that far for the sake of Solomon Mutou, it would have been different, but Solomon was nowhere near Yami's heart when he ordered his duel monster to attack. The only thing Yugi could feel was loathing and hatred directed toward Seto Kaiba.

Yugi abhorred violence, and went to great lengths to avoid it and find a peaceful solution. It wasn't because he was weak; it was because his heart was so strong that he didn't want anyone to get hurt. Indeed, it took more strength to seek peace and find compassion for enemies than it did to give in to emotions and lash out.

In Yami's moment of weakness and passion, he almost committed an unforgivable crime. Now, Yugi was too afraid to let Yami out of the puzzle again, but was scared him the most was that he might not be able to stop him. Never had he been trapped in the Millennium Puzzle; he had always had the choice of taking back control of his own body. But this time, Yami had forced him there. Yami forced him into the black void that Yugi felt nauseous just thinking about. At the beginning of the duel, everything had been normal. Kaiba was relentless and backed them into a corner, but when Yugi caught wind of what Yami was about to do, he tried to take back control. That was when he found himself in the Shadow Realm.

"Yugi!" He heard someone yell. It was Anzu, but he couldn't bring himself to look up at her face. His head was facing the cold marble underneath his clenched fingers, watching his tears splash down onto the unforgiving surface.

Yugi took a moment to feel his surroundings; his knees and hands were pressed up against the marble floor surrounding Pegasus' castle. A breeze flew by, carrying pieces of dead leaves with it. It was slightly cooler now; the sun was setting, casting its scarce rays on the lone group still standing together on the island.

Despite the summer temperature, Yugi couldn't stop shaking. He could hear Anzu yelling, but it sounded far away and muffled. He could only focus on the teardrops wetting the marble floor, and that only spurred more tears. The floodgates opened and Yugi cried for everything that had ever happened to him; he cried for Joey's sister, he cried for Joey's horrible life, he cried for his grandfather's lost soul, he cried for his lost parents, he cried for every person that was ever sent to the Shadow Realm, but most of all, he cried for the loss of someone he thought was a good friend.

_Never again. _

Yugi knew that he could never game again, and that brought on a fresh wave of tears. It was simply too dangerous. Yami could send him back to the Shadow Realm, or worse, hurt his friends. He wondered why Yami had never tried wresting control from him before. Maybe he already had to be in control to refuse to give it back, or maybe he just didn't know he could force Yugi to give over control. If it wasn't for the momentary distraction Anzu provided when she ran toward Yami during the duel, Yugi would still be trapped. The close call sent shivers down his spine. No matter what, Yugi couldn't give up control again.

Distantly, he felt Joey wave his star cuff in front of his face, telling him to take them and save his grandfather. But Yugi couldn't duel, he couldn't even lift his head to face his friends, knowing he might lose control and hurt them too, if they got in the way. He was trapped again, but this time, in his own mind. He couldn't focus; worry over his friends, his grandfather, Yami, and his own mind swirled around endlessly kept him from doing anything but stare vacantly ahead.

"Come on Yug! Snap outta it, you're really startin' ta scare me man!" Joey's unmistakable voice yelled. Yugi felt himself being picked up by his collar, but only vaguely registered the change of view and his head rolled back to stare expressionlessly through Joey's glare.

There were other voices too. They sounded angry and worried, and his name was called quite a few times, but the purples and oranges painted across the sky by the setting sun were a welcome substitute for any thoughts about the present.

He felt his feet touch the ground again, and was barely able to keep himself balanced and upright, still staring blankly at the sky. He realized that he should be worried; once the sun set, all hope of rescuing his grandfather would vanish permanently, and he would be eliminated from the tournament. Guilt tore at his insides, but a single word whispered hesitantly from inside of his mind sent a wave of cold nausea rolling through him.

_"…Yugi?"_

His legs buckled and his knees hit the floor again, deepening the bruises there as he clutched his head with both hands and screamed out loud, "Stay away from me!"

Which was useless. The puzzle still hung from around his neck, but Yugi would never take it off or dismantle it. That would mean sending Yami back to the Shadow Realm, and no matter how frightened Yugi was of Yami, he would never sentence another being to an eternity of that torture. Yugi resigned himself to be the carrier of the spirit of the Millennium Puzzle, until they could find a way to regain Yami's memories.

_"Yugi, please-"_

"No!"

_No._ Yugi repeated, this time, only in his head. _I trusted you. I let you use me, and you almost killed Kaiba over your pride!_ Betrayal and anger replaced nausea, and Yugi continued to shout mentally. _I can't risk losing everything! Not now, not when I have so much that I need to protect. I love my Grandpa, but he would never approve of trading someone else's life for his. And I wouldn't be able to live with it either. _

Yugi hunched over further, trying to block everything out, but Yami was in his head, and couldn't be ignored when he wanted his say.

_"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I never meant to let things go that far. It's just… I can't… I'm sorry." _Yami's voice sounded desperate and miserable. Things were quiet for a while in Yugi's head, and he almost thought Yami had given up until he spoke again.

_"…I-I trapped you in the Shadow Realm, didn't I?"_ his voice was choked with guilt and regret. Yugi had never heard the spirit so unsure, so regretful, and he found himself wanting to forgive Yami right there and tell him he was forgiven. But the reminder of his time in the Shadow Real stopped him. Yami continued.

_"…I was trapped in the Shadow Realm for a long time. I don't even know how long; it's… difficult, to keep track of time there." _Yugi blanched when he realized that it took him eight years to solve the puzzle, and it was excavated in Egypt. Yami was probably trapped in that hell for a few thousand years. _"When you solved the puzzle, I was freed, but I had long since lost who I was to the chaos and shadows. My only focus, was you." _Yami paused to try and find the right words. _"You were my savior, and I wanted to do everything in my power to protect you. I played the Shadow Games with your enemies and tormentors. The shadows were what I was familiar with, the only thing in knew, and I built my pride game after game. I had never lost, never failed to protect my Aibou." _

Yugi flinched at the affectionate nickname, and Yami did not fail to notice.

_"Kaiba… Kaiba challenged one of the only things I had left: my pride. I-I wasn't thinking. It was a momentary lapse of judgement, and I swear to you it will not happen again. I fear I have destroyed the thing I have cherished most, but if you cannot find it in your heart to forgive me, I will understand. I will not call to you again." _

Yami's presence retreated and left Yugi to think. He would not have survived several thousand years in the Shadow Realm. A few minutes nearly destroyed his sanity. While searching his memories, Yugi found that Yami had never once threatened him or hurt him. Yami protected him the only way he could without a body, and for that, Yugi was grateful. This was the first and only time Yami had ever lost control, and put himself before Yugi, and at the time, Yami probably wasn't even aware of what he was doing.

But could Yugi ever learn to trust Yami again, knowing the terrible power he held? They say trust is like a mirror; once it is broken, it can be fixed, but there would always be a crack in the reflection. Could this all be a trick to regain Yugi's trust only to betray him again?

However, Yugi could feel the guilt and remorse radiating from the puzzle around his neck, and the image of Yami sitting, remorseful, in the darkness broke whatever resolve Yugi had to keep his guard up.

_Yami? It's… I'm still angry and a little hurt, but it's okay, I forgive you. Just please, please don't do it again or hurt any of my friends, okay? Even the ones with billions of dollars and no sense of humor. _

Yugi's attempt to lighten the mood caused an immediate reaction from Yami. Pure happiness, with an undertone of something Yugi couldn't place, flooded his mind. Before Yugi could cut the connection, he heard Yami whisper _"Thank you," _and then he was gone.

For the first time since he lost to Kaiba, Yugi raised his head to look at his friends. Anzu, Joey and Honda were all staring at him on the floor with intense worry etched on their faces. Yugi gave them a small smile before he tried to stand up. But, seeing that his friend was back in his right mind, Joey leapt over to Yugi and promptly whacked him upside the head before pulling him in for a hug.

"Ow! Joey, what was that for?"

"For worryin' us ta' death over here while you was havin' a mental crisis or somethin!"

"Oh." Yugi looked sheepishly from underneath Joey's arm to the rest of the group. "Sorry, I was talking to Yami."

"What did he say?" Anzu asked sternly, with her arms crossed. She disapproved of violence and was very angry with Yami at the moment. She was also fiercely protective of Yugi, but then again, so was everyone else.

"He said he was very sorry, and it wouldn't happen again."

Anzu continued to frown at Yugi for a few moments, but she finally shrugged and nodded and dropped the issue.

Honda came up and threw his arms around Joey's shoulders. It was the closest he could get to hugging Yugi now that he was trapped in Joey's death grip. "Why were you spaced out for so long? You were kinda freakin us out."

"Sorry." Yugi apologized again, "I was just really scared. I was worried that he might hurt someone else if he lost control." It was a partial truth. Yugi decided not to say anything about the shadow realm, lest he invoke the wrath of Anzu.

Yugi felt another pang of regret from the puzzle before Joey snorted and said, "Dat ain't gonna happen."

Yugi pulled away from the hug to see all of his friends smiling at him.

"Even if he does lose it, we'll all be right here ta knock some sense back inta him." Joey declared. Anzu laughed while Honda nodded, and Yugi felt a wave of warmth pass through him at the sight of his friends there to back him up.

His mood had done a complete 180o since the duel, and he felt as though he could take on the world. So when Mai came up and pressed the star chips into his hand, he was able to smile and enter the castle with everyone. During the duels, he let Yami take control again, and was even able to face the Shadow Realm again for his sake. Throughout their adventures, he and Yami forged a bond so strong, not even time could break it. They grew to care for each other to the point where after the ceremonial duel, Yugi reached out to grab Atem's cape and said the most selfish thing he had said in his entire life.

"Please don't go."

* * *

**Hooray for happy endings! Originally, I wanted it to be darker, but I just couldn't do that to them. Please review because I am a selfish person and want feedback!**


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